I act like a short person. I’m not sure what that means, but everyone agrees with me. How does one act short? I couldn’t tell you. Yet somehow, I accomplish this. Also, no one cares when you turn 33. I’m finally old enough to feel kind of ashamed when I tell someone something about my upcoming birthday. After 32 birthdays, no one wants to hear about it. So you’re a year older than you were last time I pretended to be excited. Yay. By 33, even your mom tells you to dial it down. How are those two topics related? They’re not. I’m just feeling short and old and wanted to mention it.