call your mom

julie warshaw, patty warshawOh Moms. According to Hallmark, today is Your Day. Enjoy your grocery store flowers, finger-painted cards and (hopefully) a night of not cooking. If you raise a sweet child who shares her crayons and makes her bed, no one will ever hear of you. If your kid opens fire on his recently former coworkers or you decide the graveyard shift at the 7-11 makes a great unwitting babysitter, get ready for FOX News. Motherhood these days is an interesting task. College graduates return home to occupy your basement and three-year olds are better navigators of an iPad than I am. It’s been proven that outdoor, free play is good for development but there’s trench coat-wearing, kitten-holding, van-driving white guys in their mid-thirties everywhere (just ask Chris Hansen). Organic vegetables are best; just watch out for Escherichia coli. Put your faith in the FDA? Awesome. Have Tampax ready for your seven-year old. 2012 is a tough place for Moms, but you proliferate, regardless. So, here’s to you, Moms! Drink up! (Lord knows, you need it…)


←100 words a day


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