this is an incomplete…

Pretending to like horrible gifts is the glue which holds civilized society together. If someone took the time (and money), to go out, buy you a gift and wrap it bea-u-tifully; nine times out of ten, they’re hoping you’re going to be super-duper psyched when you open it. The least you can do is pretend to be pleased. And no, I’m not talking about a birthday where your husband buys you a leaf-blower. (When that happens, tell him it sucks and tell him quick; otherwise, you’ll end up with a matching weed-whacker for Mother’s Day.) But when your 76-year old Aunt Betty pays $29.95 for a DVD of Three Men and A Little Lady, you thank her from the bottom of your heart and tell her that you’re a huge Steve Guttenburg fan. It’s your duty as a civilized member of society. Also, no one wants another collection of jazzercise self-portraits like the ones Aunt Betty gave all the kids last year…

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