Because I’m an Athletic Guy

experienced copywriter yo julie warshawAlright men, huddle up. I don’t need to tell you that was a rough first game. You were there. They’ve got some strong players, but let’s face it, we didn’t bring our A Game. I know some of us felt the aftermath of playing too soon after snack (don’t be so hard on yourself, Foster. Nothing a little sawdust and a mop can’t fix…Gonzalez, leave Foster alone. I don’t recall anyone making fun of you when you left your orange slices on the court last Thursday).

Sure, we made a few mistakes. Some of our strongest players missed the first half because they didn’t take care of business before the game started. I trust that everyone is…Silverman, you just went. You have to go again? Janet, can you take Silverman to the…yes, Jones, you can go too. And Valdes. OK, does anyone else have to go to the bathroom? Foster? No? Are you sure? Don’t lie to me, Foster.

OK. Is everyone back? Foster? (I heard that, Gonzalez.)

As I was saying, we made a few mistakes. Overconfidence may have played a role in an equipment malfunction. Flanagan, it takes a real man to admit he was wrong and ask for help…yes, I see that they’re both tied now. Your mother did a great job.

Maybe we didn’t spend enough time talking about the rules of the game. That would be my fault. But you know what? Mistakes happen. Even the great Winston Churchill once said, “Mistakes? I’ve made a few.” (Thank you, Janet. I think I know the difference between Freddie Mercury and Winston Churchill.)

We face a tough opponent. Their team is organized. They can throw. But their best players aren’t our biggest challenge, gentlemen. Our biggest challenge is ourselves.

We’ve got two more games. It doesn’t matter if they’re bigger than we are. It doesn’t matter if they’re more coordinated or if most of them read at a fifth grade level. We are men of action. Our shoes are tied. We have gone to the bathroom recently. And we know that this game we’re about to win is not soccer, so we can all use our hands. Now let’s get out there and show these Grade 2 Second Session Morning Camp Girls that we know how to play some dodge ball!

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