You can’t train a dog not to puke on the bed. Well, maybe you can, but I’ve had limited success. Especially because it always happens when I’m asleep. It’s gross. It’s horrifying. It means that I’ll spend the entire next day thinking about how I have to go home and do laundry; hoping I have enough quarters and trying to figure out how many towels it would take to sleep comfortably if I don’t. That’s how I spent today and, upon coming home to find Parker got into the trash, there’s a reasonably good chance that that’s how I’ll spend tomorrow. Only I know that I don’t have enough quarters to do laundry again. And I’m down to hand towels.